We don’t have them. A little more than a month ago, I had intended to explore fully a more solid friendship than I had with my partner. So, after my latest dating stint ended, I texted a woman with whom I had an emotional affair, and then my one-who-got-away. She didn’t get away. She’s my partner. We are going to get engaged in December.
I have not fought well or communicated well with my girlfriends. To date, I have not had a fight with my partner. There was a moment when we could have fought and fought badly. Instead she asked me some honest questions and cried a little. I sat on it for a couple of days, made a plan, did all of it, and asked her if my decision was ok. And it was for her. We just get each other and respect each other as well. We did a communication meeting last night, and we decided that what we really do well is talk about things which are difficult and be nakedly vulnerable. I know that is a good start.
At work today, my office partner who also works with kids and families in mental health told me that she saved the very first chat that she had over old school IM with her now husband. She said that the whole thing is embarrassing to both of them now, because they were trying to show favorable sides to each other. I liked that my partner also saved our original exchanges. About three weeks ago, my partner made a document in Word called, “_______ and ______: A Lovestory,” and it started with my first FB message which said, “Nice to finally meet you in person, _______ .” I told her that I wanted to help her move so she could see how strong I was. At that point, nearly 18-months ago, I was off with my ex and stayed off until that August when we tried to date for two months. I would have loved to dated my partner, but we weren’t in the right places.
It begs the question, would she and I be fighting if we didn’t wait for our moment? I’ve loved her since those damn swings, and I have been thinking that she was intriguing from the first time I saw her picture when our mutual friend showed me her years ago. I can’t believe that we are together. We get along extremely well and have spent most days together recently. She’ll be back tomorrow and in a wonderful sense of synchronicity, the friend who is responsible for us being together, is in town and having dinner at our house. That is good timing too.